


Hot Dogz

by Babashook



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: dick joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 15:37:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12257235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babashook/pseuds/Babashook
Summary: It’s just an 800 word dick joke.





	Hot Dogz

Hot Dogs

“Welcome to More. Wow, Link, I don’t know how you lost by 50 inches. We were only using a map of the United States. How does that even happen?!”

“How was I supposed to know people in Seattle put cream cheese on hot dogs? People of Seattle, you’re nasty!”

“Well, to be fair, you also aimed for Alaska and managed to hit Florida.”

“Ok, well I knew reindeer hot dogs weren’t a Florida thing. Maybe alligator hot dogs but… definitely not reindeer. Also can’t we just be happy I didn’t hit Chase?”

“I think we are all happy about that, especially Chase! So, we have been hearing from you, The Mythical Beasts, that you’d like for us to bring back Debate O Rama. And when you talk, we listen. Well, at least part of the time. Please welcome Ellie and Lizzie on.”

Rhett pushes the wheel aside and makes room for Ellie and Lizzie.

Link smiles and says, “welcome Ellie and Lizzie, what will you two be debating today?”

Ellie grins as if she’s about the drop an amazing punchline. 

“We will be debating some classic street foods today. Two things we know Rhett loves, tacos and hot dogs!”

Rhett grins mischievously and says, “Ellie, how did you know?”

Ellie, who is barely holding in her own laughter, says “it’s pretty obvious if you know what you’re looking for.”

Link begins to shift his gaze from Ellie to Rhett and back to Ellie. He’s squinting as if trying to figure out whatever personal joke is happening. He looks at Lizzie who seems to be in on it as well. 

Rhett smiles and says, “yeah I guess you’re right about that.”

Rhett flashes a knowing grin at the camera. 

Lizzie continues, “so I’ll be representing Team Taco and Ellie will be representing Team Hot Dog.”

The crew bursts into nervous giggles. Link is looking around as if he missed the joke. He looks off camera at Stevie with a questioning look. Stevie just grins and winks. 

Lizzie, trying to contain her giggles, says, “So I won a coin toss before we walked on so I get to go first!”

Lizzie takes a deep breath and forges on.

“How could you not love tacos?! They’re cheap, delicious, and in LA they’re practically a staple food. You can get them almost anywhere here! There are so many different kinds - vegetarian, beef…”

 

Rhett, grinning ear to ear, looks at Lizzie and says, “Don’t forget fish tacos! They’re underrated but man are they GOOD. Gosh, I do love tacos. When I was a young man I used to think about tacos all the time. They’re so tasty and messy…”

Link looks at Rhett and silently mouths “what?”

Lizzie chokes out between laughs “I’m sure you probably thought of nothing but tacos…”

Rhett nods and says, “I still think about tacos a lot!”

Ellie bursts into giggles and wipes the tears of her laughter away. After taking a breath to get herself together she says, “But Rhett, I’m sure you were also thinking about hot dogs as you laid in bed as a young teen.”

Rhett nods, beaming with joy.

“All the time. You have no idea!”

Lizzie whispers, “oh my god” under her breath before going into another round of giggling fits.

Link continues to stare at Stevie off camera as if she’ll let him in on the big joke. 

Finally, Ellie gets it together long enough to say, “as we saw from the main episode, you can put anything you want on a hot dog - mustard, relish, and even cream cheese!”

Link shakes his head and frowns remembering the Seattle hot dog. 

Ellie continues, “Hot dogs also come in a variety of sizes! Everything from cocktail weenies to huge sausage.”

Rhett, looking directly at the camera, smirks and says, “I don’t discriminate against size. All hot dogs make my mouth water.”

Lizzie pipes up, “some hot dogs curve to the side though. How do you feel about that?”

Rhett grins and says, “Well Lizzie, as long as it hits the spot, I can’t complain!”

Stevie begins cracking up behind the camera.

Link is still looking around, trying to piece together what is happening around him. 

He looks at Rhett and says, “I think Lizzie made the better argument. So I guess I would have to choose tacos.”

Rhett smiles and says, “I just can’t choose! I love them both.” 

Link looks over at Rhett with a suspicion in his eyes.

”But Rhett.. you’ve got to choose.”

Rhett, again staring into the camera, grins and says, “nope! I refuse.”

Ellie, continuing to giggle, says “Rhett, you’re perfect the way you are.”

Link finally gets it. 

He looks over at Rhett and says, “Oh my gosh, Rhett, we get it, you like tacos and hot dogs! And I love you and all of our mythical beasts who feel the same way. But whatever this bit is...oh my gosh please make it stop.”

Rhett begins laughing so hard tears are rolling down his face. 

“Link, I love you.”

Link just rolls his eyes, looks at the camera, and says “I honestly wonder what I did so wrong in a past life to deserve Rhett.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are love. Groans are love.


End file.
